Quindi, we went to the Wind shop in Cadorna, and Luisella  quickly explained in Italiano that I simply needed to get a SIM card for my iPhone, keeping the same phone number I have in my flip phone, and with enough data to be able to use Whatsapp to stay in touch with the US. 

I'm amazed to be able to openly disclose the details of our deal -- all without having to conduct the transaction on a dark street corner through a car window, or in the back of a dirty cafe catering to people with unidentifiable accents... 

• 15 Euro to change to a different type of SIM (keeping the same number)
• 40 Euro for a month of calls, texts and data 
• No contract
• Transaction completed within 10 minutes
• And I only had to sign a single slip of paper

Easy peasy! Shhhhh, don't tell Verizon! In the US we are getting royally screwed!!! (Or should I say, You.)