Easy rider

In Milano lots of people commute to work on motorcycles.

Lest you assume everyone is sporting a Vespa and trailing a scarf in the wind, the typical moto is a medium sized bike like shown below... with an occasional Vespa or Harley thrown in to spice things up.

This moto-commitment seems to transcend all types of weather, much like the US Postal service or Santa.

An interesting piece of gear that I’ve not seen in the US is a heavy “skirt” laid over the lap and shoes, and often tucked around the legs. I think this serves to keep your legs clean during your ride year round, and serves as extra protection again the cold and rain.

And often they simply drive up onto the sidewalk and park.

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My Italian breakfast

Italian breakfast is a very quick affair, with none of the fanfare of the average American morning meal. And nary an egg, a potato, or a grit in sight!

Typically you will pop into the “bar” right outside your apartment building, or one convenient to your work.

You’ll order a “caffè”, which Americans know as espresso, and a pastry. The pastry will be called a brioche in Milano, a croissant in Western Liguria near the French border, and a cornetto throughout much of the rest of the country. They come filled with Nutella, chocolate, creme, apple, jam, etc.

And you will stand right at that bar and wolf that brioche and slam that espresso... less than 10 minutes from walking in the door to walking out the door.

While I have started drinking coffee (1 Euro, as opposed to 2.50 or more for tea... and chai? fuggedaboutit), I drink caffè Americano... which is espresso with a double shot of water.

Another wonderful thing you can get at breakfast in your bar is OJ squeezed while you wait. Sometimes it’s worth going into the bar for the smell alone!

So yeah, sometimes I’d love to have a bacon and scrambled egg bagel, but having a croissant filled with Nutella is a a great consolation prize!

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This is the biggest cup of coffee I’ve seen since I left JFK. 

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And... no free refills... 

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This is from a place called 12 oz Coffee Joint where the schtick is that you can get American sized coffee... still made as Italian caffè plus water, and again, no refills. 

The dusty bricklayer

This is a menu for a restaurant La Prosciutteria, which specializes in salumi boards.... usually meats and cheeses, sometimes with fruits and nuts...

Check out the choices... The Honest Politician, The Thief Politician, The Penitent Cardiologist....

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legge e ordine

I'm watching Law & Order dubbed in Italian. Briscoe’s quips just don’t have the same punch... 

 

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...and your point is....?

The graffiti reads "School + work = slavery".

And to this spray paint philosopher I would say, “yeah, so?”

Show me a viable option. Explain how we should replace our current system.

Or stop wasting your hard-begged euros on spray paint...

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blowing in the wind....

When you go food shopping at the supermercato, typically you bring your own bags. If not, you can buy various grades of bags.... including the standard plastic number which is free in the US. They cost .20 each here (that's .20 Euro, people!).

But these bags are very different from the thin plastic bags you find in every grocery in America (except maybe Trader Joe’s and Aldi).

  • They are biodegradable

  • They are larger than the US model

  • They are strong and don’t come already defective with rips or holes along the bottom seams

  • They are biodegradable. Yes, I said that twice, as it bears repeating

The requirement of paying for the bag gives it an added emotional value that will make you think twice before tossing it in the trash. People at the checkout counter actually accuse other shoppers of stealing the .20 plastic bag which they brought with them from home. I myself have been very insistent with a checkout guy that, yes, indeed, I brought that bag from home. (I needed that bag to carry home my 1.50 bottle of wine!!!)

So, maybe this is something to think about. Should it be an inalienable right to receive free, defective plastic (harmful and unsustainable!) bags at the grocery store every time you shop?

Or does it make better business and environmental sense to shift the responsibility of bags to the shopper — simultaneously providing a better product and the desire to reuse?

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Bike Share in Milano

There are two different types of bicycle share programs in Milano. 

One is called bikeMi and is part of the ATM program, where you can add a nominal monthly fee onto your metro/tram/bus card, giving you authorization to take a bike from designated bike stands throughout the city and return it to another stand. They have this interesting click-into-place system to secure the bikes.  

These bikes also serve as traveling billboards for local cultural events.

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Then there are other bicycle shares where you download the app to your phone, and register your "borrowing" of a bike via the phone app. 

These bike share programs (Mobike and OFO) are interesting in that the bikes are not locked into a stand but are considered "dockless". There is a retractable "clamp" that closes into the the back tire, between spokes, and doesn't allow the tire to turn unless someone has 'claimed it' via the app. Steal the bike all you want, but you can't ride it if one wheel won't turn! 

You'll find dockless bikes in the most bizarre places, alone on a sidewalk, in front of the door of the grocery store, waiting for the next rider.  
 

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Milano Foot Fashions

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This is a Chuck Taylor Converse made to look like a high top... but really it has an internal high heel, so she can look cool and sporty but still stand two inches taller than sh actually is....

This is a Chuck Taylor Converse made to look like a high top... but really it has an internal high heel, so she can look cool and sporty but still stand two inches taller than sh actually is....

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No socks is big... even in winter 

No-Dryer Dilemma

While my clothes obviously dry just fine on a rack, as clothes have successfully air dried since the Egyptians were first making high TC linen in the fifth millennium BCE, an added bonus of having a dryer was (not only as a quick wrinkle remedy, but also) the ability to right-size pre-worn jeans in mere seconds. 

Now I fear all my pants are too loose and I have "Flab Ass", like Samantha's rich guy (who was apparently a friend of The Donald???).

The unsung heroes of ironing

We’ve all heard of futbol, bicycling, art, and Formula One Racing as Italian pastimes... and no one would doubt cooking and eating would fall into this category. But there’s an activity that consumes a huge percentage of the average Italian woman’s time that no one ever talks about.... Ironing.

Italy (and the rest of the world except definitely the US and maybe Canada) do not use dryers for their laundry. They hang it on an outside line, or more likely an indoor rack, to dry the old school way. This is traditional, is environmentally conscious, and is sustainable.

However it leaves the clothes (and towels and sheets) wrinkled and feeling crispy crunchy.

I remember as I child getting up extra early to hang the laundry on the line before school. (This was obviously before I walked the 5 miles uphill through blinding snow, but I digress.) What a pisser for me when it rained during the school day!!! Digression due. I remember from those days that when the towels were dry, they were kinda crunchy, but boy were they absorbent... Much more so imho than those from the dryer.

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And so, the average Italian woman has piles of crunchy laundry (her own multiplied by n, where n = (men + children) in her household). Quindi, a good portion of her not-working-not-cooking-not-sleeping time is spent standing over the hot, steaming iron.

Thankfully, these ladies have The Mother of All Irons at their disposal. Ginormous mothers attached by a hose to a reservoir holding easily 2 liters of water. And heavy duty boards to withstand the weight of the iron as well as the resentfully vigorous ministrations of a hero who must spend hours ironing even towels and sheets (wtf!!) while unnamed others watch futbol or Formula One Racing.

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The daily tax

Milano is a city filled with beggars. 

Europe has accepted many refugees of late. And Italy is still climbing back from The Crisis, so there are not jobs enough even for the citizens, much less refugees. This leads to people who are under-employed or unemployed, and downright hungry. 

But it is interesting to contrast the manner in which begging is done throughout the world.

In the US we have "panhandlers", which I think is a different animal than "beggars"... There's much more stealth involved in panhandling. In India beggars stand in the streets in major intersections, tapping on the windows of cars and rubbing their stomachs or showing you their wounds which need care. Your driver yells at them to go away or slips them 15 rupees, the light changes, and the transaction is over.

But begging in Italy in general, and Milano beggars in particular, are much more in-your-face. 

Your average run-of-the mill beggar stands outside of the Italian "bar" (where you get your morning coffee and brioche, or your lunchtime sandwich to go) holding a limp baseball cap out. Typically they speak to you, or at least try to make eye contact... Senora... per favore. 

Sometimes they walk up and down inside the cars of the metro with a paper cup. 

The most bizarre display I've seen has been the wizened old lady in garb straight from a 1940s movie about European peasants, complete with yiayia headscarf. She stands in the center of a wide sidewalk on Corso Buenos Aires (a long boulevard totally dedicated to shopping and eating), bowing from her waist with her arm in line with her spine, holding a paper cup for donations. For hours. Sometimes she kneels on the sidewalk, with her forehead to the filthy concrete. 

This condition is heartbreaking. On Sunday I saw a guy with his baseball cap standing outside of a grocery store. A college student was rushing by, pointedly looking in the other direction so as not to make eye contact with the guy, when she stumbled and dropped the coins she'd been holding in her hand. He was looking at those coins with such longing... as if he could eat the metal itself! 

So, I've implemented a daily tax on myself. I always carry 1 Euro in my pocket. When I encounter a person on the street who is asking for money, I give this 1 Euro. 1 Euro per day.  

I hope, in some small way, this will help someone who truly needs it. 

A global truth

A man with a toupee never believes he looks like shit, while everyone who sees him knows that he does. 

I want an apartment!

My search for an apartment has been stymied by the 1950s-style methodology used in the real estate industry here. 

First, there is no concept of Multiple Listing.... No, it's worse than that really... There is no appetite to 'split the commission'. So, you, The Agenzia, have some listings, you have to leave the office to show them, there may not be anyone in the office when another renter/buyer comes by to look... so they keep walking down the street to the next shop with photos in the window. You've potentially just lost a commission. Because, in the mind of The Agenzia, you must get the whole commission. The idea that making 3 simultaneous half-commissions is more Euro in your pocket than 1 whole commission hasn't taken hold. Not even sure if it's been introduced, or if the messenger bringing such a sacrilegious thought was shot on sight. 

Next, the most desireable lease in Italy is the 4 + 4 -- meaning the renter is guaranteed to be able to stay 4 years, with an option to renew for another 4 at the end. For this reason (I think!) the owner has a long lead time knowing when the current renter is leaving... and The Agenzia starts advertising really early. I called this week on a great apartment -- it comes available in April... 6 months from now. And, get this, when you call about an apartment on Via 123, and they tell you it's available in April, and you say I need an apartment now, THERE IS NO UPSELLING. They don't say "You know, I've got this great apartment available right now..." Only one guy has said anything like that to me. 

Next, The Agenzia work normal Italian office hours. Meaning, they work the same hours that YOU are working. No holidays. Definitely no Sundays! And I haven't been able to find anyone who will show me apartments on Saturdays. As a person with a NEW JOB, relying on public transportation, it is very dicey to try to see an apartment between classes in a different part of town. This bit me last week, and I won't play that game again.  

Allora, today my classes are cancelled because the corporation my students work in gave them 3 full days of holiday, giving them a 5 day "bridge" weekend. I'm sitting here, calling in broken Italian, hoping to find at least one apartment I can see TODAY or Saturday. 

Great idea of the Day: If an ambitious realtor were to come to Milano and open an agenzia where you will show when it is convenient for the customer, and you will split commissions with the other Agenzia, you could make a fortune! Advertise in the universities that you speak fluent English, and you will become The Rental Regent!

what do I know?

Boy! My understanding of this holiday was totally off! 

While very few shops were open, and no banks, the public trans was operating on a weekend schedule and at least 50% of the restaurants were up and running.

And not just in the tourist areas!  I wandered over to Naviglio Grande, which is Milano's three-canal answer to Venice -- where restaurants stand shoulder-to-shoulder for a kilometer, looking over the river, with seating out front al fresco. The streets were filled with people, strolling, enjoying the weather, meeting friends for lunch. 

After my lunch of pizza and two spritz's (count'em! TWO!) I pulled out my laptop and worked on study materials for my classes.  (In the spritz recipe I've linked, David Lebovitz suggests filling the glass "generously with ice"... I disagree with this, as you really only want to chill the drink to make it refreshing. A glass less than half full of ice is perfect.)

Yes, I meant for that pizza to come without cheese. It's a thang here, you wouldn't understand. (And there’s def too much ice in the spritz.)

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