It’s better in states...?

In homes in the states we spare no expense to hide the evidence of the human condition. We build special cabinets or even entire rooms to store, away from prying eyes, tools for maintaining our homes or for making our homes more comfortable during certain times.

In Europe they don’t have this luxury of unlimited space. Or perhaps the day-to-day existence in small apartments and high density makes one all too aware of the everyday activities we all share.

In Italy we stored these things on our kitchen balconies. Not in a room or closet, just leaning against the wall for all the neighbors to see.

In my fab crib in Krakow the mop and bucket used to clean between each guest does not have a special cubby to hide away between uses, but leans against the wall in the bathroom. The electric fan used to make summers bearable sits in a corner in the living room, even while it snows nonstop outside.

While it’s definitely more attractive to hide the mop bucket when it’s not being used, is this another instance of American Puritanism denying the existence of human activities that are too “dirty” to be acknowledged?

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Pizza and beer

I'm in fabulous Krakow, but it's still Sunday in Poland, so I knew if I wanted food I should head out quickly before they roll up the sidewalks. From my window I saw a pizza joint called Cyklop - yes, you can't make this up - so I decided to pop over there for dinner.

Good thing I popped quickly, as. I was informed as I walked in that the kitchen would be closing in 30 minutes. So I ordered a pizza quickly. Waitress was excellent. Pizza was good. Ambiance was great!

And I ordered a damned good dark Czech beer!

And while I was inside, the skies opened and that heat wave precip started falling.

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I'm never leaving

The apartment is probably 75 sq meters (huge for one bedroom in Europe!!), and is fabulously and artistically furnished in Euro mid-century retro / Scandinavian. You enter into the large central room (living / dining / kitchen), with a bathroom off to one side and the large bedroom containing a double and two twin beds on the other side. There are big windows onto the street in both the dining area and the bedroom.

Quirkily, the entrance, dining/kitchen and bathroom floor is about 2 inches higher than the living and bedroom, which is floored in original real wood parquet. There's groovin' Polish pop art posters on the walls -- I think from the 60's. And the dining room has seating for 6 and a sideboard made of some very interesting wood.

I would LIVE in this apartment in a heartbeat. I can see myself throwing parties in this apartment!!

And beyond the inherent fabulousness of the space and style with which it's been decorated, is the sheer number of electrical outlets and switches. No need to string extensions cords all over this apartment. A plug for every appliance!!

AND... a bathtub!

Oh god. I've died.

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Home Away From Home

I jumped off the tram with my address already keyed into Google maps.

I love the convenience of smart app maps, but for some reason (though a genius map-reader usually) I cannot get the groove of those online maps... with the little icon showing which direction your phone is pointing... and I want to be able to turn the phone around, but the display just keeps spinning around as well... arrghhhh! I want to be like Joey and just get in the map! Krakow, baby!

Finally I made it the three blocks to my street, and walked up and down looking for the numbers on the buildings. It's always a challenge to know if the street has even on one side, odd on the other... or if there is some consecutive numbering scheme going on... and in the dark in a quaint side street... almost impossible to read.

But the instructions from my AirBNB host were primo and in no time I was through the two security doors and facing the stairwell.

(Dammit! I always forget to confirm one or the other -- wifi or elevator -- every time!)

The apartment is on 3 (that's Euro 3, US 4) and two of the stone flights were replaced with wooden steps sometime since WWII... and the rails are none too sturdy... but you can still see the original glory of the building in the tilework on the landings.

And the apartment itself is a slice of hipster heaven.

Getting Around

Cracow has been convenient with a capital C since I arrived.

The central train station (Krakow Glowny) has a lot of shops within the station (as we see in Italy), and it is then attached through a set of doors directly to a very nice mall (as we see in Warsaw). It's super important that nothing stop train passengers from getting their shop on! OMG, the bakeries alone almost stopped me from making it through the building.

Information centers have maps and English speakers galore, ready to assist.

Several tram stations serving multiple lines each are located below the station/mall and others directly outside the mall entrance, and each station has an electronic tram-ticket machine with multiple languages available for ease of purchase. (Coins only) No need to pop to the tobacconist before hitting the public trans.

Electronic displays at the station let you know how long before your tram arrives. Once inside the car, a display shows the next three stops, so you can be prepared to disembark.

Four stops to my crib in Kazimierz.

Forecasts

I've been monitoring the weather in prep for my trip and had become a little dismayed a heat wave was being predicted.

Obviously not an actual heat wave but temperatures above 32F/0C in conjunction with precip, meaning rain. RAIN when trying to enjoy a large Christmas market. RAIN when catching the nativity scenes and carolers advertised on Krakow events sites. RAIN when slogging through Auschwitz (OK, maybe a day in Auschwitz deserves to be as miserable as possible!).

Every few hours I check, and every time the weather report changes. Guess we'll just take what we get!

But all the forecasts seem to agree it will be snowing on Christmas.

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What what!?

I'm really excited about heading out to Krakow.

It's considered one of the hippest cities in Europe.

And it is a hot vacation spot for Brits, so we might get to hear some native English being spoken in the wild... not in an academic setting.

Sadly, if the widely-held local reputation precedes, these Brits will be totally shitfaced and falling down, but they will be speaking English.

It's Better in the States

It's nice to ask for water in a restaurant and know that you can get tap water for free. In both Italy and here in Poland you only get bottled water in restaurants, and it's really pricey in comparison (15 for the lunch special, 5 for the water!). And no free refills.

On my way

I boarded the train in Hooterville .... and I will disembark in Pareee!

You Gave It Away....

Last Christmas by Wham! has been in my face a lot this year because it's the favorite (English language?) Christmas song in Poland, which has given me a lot to wonder about.

First, why would this song be anyone's favorite Christmas song, much less the favorite Christmas song of an entire country!!?? Certainly the video shows George Michael at his most blond-with-dark-roots twink-a-deliciousness, but it's not a happy, holly, jolly tale. It's at best the story of a guy who is still incredibly sad at the way he was treated by this bitch (or guy), and more likely he has moved from sad to bitter and angry -- which is a darker and infinitely less healthy place to be 12 whole months later. Not happy, which is what society expects Christmas to be.

Second, I'm not really sure if I understand the lyrics. Not that they're a mire of deeply symbolic references, certainly not that! But he repeatedly tells us, "This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it (my heart) to someone special" -- except at the very end, when he says "Maybe next year I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special". Sooooo, is he acknowledging that he is still carrying the proverbial torch, that he still loves this heart breaker? And does he tell this only to US, or does he admit this to the bitch too?

Next, even after 35 freakin’ years, whenever I hear "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day," my mind finishes it with "you tore it apart"... I mean, the power of rhyming Heart and Apart overrides the thousands of times I've heard the song. And the rhyme actually found in the song -- "the very next day you gave it away" -- seems so infantile and weak — like American Budweiser.

But anyway, it is indeed the favorite Christmas song of Poland, and to celebrate this a radio station is staging an event in Krakow to set a Guiness Book Record of the most people singing this song at the same time.

It's happening Dec 23 -- the day I arrive in Krakow for my holiday -- but sadly many hours before I can get there. I would have loved to be part of this -- even if I'm not in agreement with it being the best Christmas song evah!

And yes, I really do have lots of time for thinking in Poland.

Don't Go Into The Forest, Little Red!

As part of my job, for my more mature students I must give an oral exam three times a year. I have to take each student out of the room and follow a specific sequence of questions and actions, requiring about 5 minutes for each student.

Therefore, I have to assign a class project to keep the students busy in the classroom.

I took evil pleasure in coming up with difficult, culturally relevant, and ironic projects for my classes.

My most advanced teens rose to the challenge, which was to write a favorable review of a movie called "Don't Go Into the Forest, Little Red!", a modern retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. Here are two reviews of this imaginary movie by 14-year-olds.

"Don't Go Into the Forest, Little Red!" is a retelling of a classic book about Little Red. This one is definitely much darker and terrjfjed than original. Little Red is played by Emma Stone who definitely had time of her life playing that. The plot stayed similar comparing to original. Little Red still want to get to her Grandma play by Oscar-winning actress Ellen Burstyn and then have to deal with a Wolf (played by Bill Murray). What is objectively good about a movie is it technical aspects. Naturalistic camera work, great lighting and big budget for sets and costumes, and special effects are defining a well made movie.

"Don't Go Into The Forest, Little Red!" is a interesting fantasy story. It has really good cast, like Christopher Lee playing the Hunter or Margot Robbie as a Little Red. The performance was good especially Margot Robbie who really get into her role. The film is set in a fantasy world with talking animals. The plot is about the Little Red who travels to her grandpa in order to give her a pie and a wine. At her journey she meet a wolf which ask her what is she doing here. She responds to him after that he pursue her to have fun in the forest and that is when he goes to Little Red grandpa and eat her. Then he dress up like her. In the end wolf eat but then comes the hunter which kills wolf and rescue the Little Red and her grandpa. The technical aspects of this file are very great especially in the last scene.

Lime in da Coconut

I just had to take a photo of this sweatshirt....

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The 1940s-era tropical kitsch made me think of a postcard Rita Hayworth might have sent to hubby Orson Welles from Buenos Aires... I’m picturing big hibiscus flowers over the ear and Carmen Miranda fruit basket up-dos.

Looking closer we notice that not only are all the words English, but it’s  bad English.... there are nonsensical combinations and bad spellings...

I saw the phenomenon in Italy, English writing on clothing... and in particular fake tourism tee shirts for Brooklyn and California.... but there the spelling was usually correct and the phrases were usually correct... and pop-culturally relevant...

Apparently this guy bought the shirt at Cropp, which is a Polish clothing store chain based in Gdańsk and found in every mall in Poland... Just one of several chain stores in a larger retail group which have stores in every mall in Poland.

…Thinking they should invest in an English consultant…