Drew had been calling around to his friends and colleagues, asking if anyone had an extra smartphone handy (near the office) which I could borrow until I get the issue solved.
Apparently a friend had one, and received assurances from Drew that "yes, yes, it's for me, seriously, it's only for me, I'm the only one who will be using it!". But his friend was in a meeting, and a quick check of the train schedule indicated that I really needed to go if I wanted to make Monterosso before the dark of night.
A quick check on the Milano-version of Craigslist showed there were no smartphones cheap and close... so I made a management decision.
We removed the Wind SIM from the iPhone, performed a delicate surgery to wedge this smaller SIM into a plastic framework that would fit into my flip phone, and tested my flip for call-ability.
Then I was off!